​Let's talk about pure compliments. You can pay a compliment (to others or to yourself) without insulting others. We sometimes struggle to say nice things about ourselves. For some, there may be childhood or cultural messaging on pride to overcome. For others, it may be unrealistic expectations set for what the "ideal person" is. Receiving compliments and saying kind things to or about ourselves might seem awkward or even painful. So as we travel this road of growing comfortable with ourselves in a new light, many of us move to humor or comparison... "this not that"... in effort to ease some of the awkwardness. But there are often self-deprecating remarks couched in our compliments to others, or to ourselves.
"You're so smart, I'm terrible at math."
"Can't cook, but I'm a great kisser!"
 
This can also be directed outwards, comparing your new ideal to an old ideal. The problem is, we're now tearing down others to lift ourselves up. Instead of adding to what creates an "ideal person," we've just changed the definition and insulted a completely different group of people. For example:
"Strong is the new skinny."
"You don't need makeup or hair dye to look pretty."
"Real men work with their hands."
"I don't have to show my body to be sexy."
"Brains not brawn."
"Real Women Have Curves."
And for my pole industry people I'm including the hashtag #notastripper in this.
 
We don't need to draw a comparison that shames someone else for their body, gifts, lifestyle, or choices. There's just as much power... I'd argue even more... in making a pure compliment. For example:
"My body is beautiful and strong."
"Your hair color is so pretty, and your skin glows!"
"I love working with my hands."
"I feel so sexy in this outfit!"
"You are so smart."
"Loving my curves!"
 
Because you should be celebrated for the things that make you feel good about yourself, without the limitations of a humblebrag or a dig at yourself or others. And we should be able to compliment others in a way that uplifts without tearing down. So practice this today. Give yourself a pure compliment and give one to someone else. See how different it feels, and know that you're taking steps to making this world a more uplifting place.

​Need a mood lifter? Exhaling from the diaphragm helps relieve emotional stress. This 3-part method helps you focus your breath in your diaphragm, your lower ribs, and you’re upper chest. 

1. Lie on your back comfortably. Place your hands palms down on your belly, with fingertips barely touching over your navel. 

2. As you inhale through your nose, lift your belly into your hands, pushing your belly against them. See if you can move your fingers move away from each other so they no longer touch. Exhale, letting your belly sink back down, and your fingers touch again. Repeat this two more times.

3. Move your hands to the outsides of your lower ribs. Inhale through your nose, pressing your belly up, as you did before. Then move the focus to your ribs, pulling more air into the middle of your torso and pressing your rib cage against your hands. Exhale, first letting your ribs move back to neutral and then your belly. Repeat this two more times.

4. Move your hands to your upper chest. Start by inhaling through the nose, pressing your belly up, and then expanding through your ribs. Now focus on your upper chest, bringing even more air in to let it rise against your hands. Exhale, feeling your chest fall, then your ribs, then your belly.

5. Continue this 3-part breath, but feel free to move your hands around to the different locations as you breathe. Repeat at least 10 more times.

Today we're going to talk about sensuality. A lot of people confuse sensuality with sexuality, but sensuality is all about tapping into the senses. So your sight, your hearing, your smell, your taste, your touch.

When you're in an anxiety situation or in a trauma situation, you tend to feel numb or like you're floating. What you may not realize is, this is a self defense mechanism. When your brain catalogues something as a deeply negative experience, it's programmed to shut down your senses to help protect you from remembering too many traumatic details. This is why abuse survivors often don't remember details, unless they're brought to light in therapy. The memories are locked away in a vault in the brain. And while this is a fantastic design for protecting you from traumatic situations, once the brain goes into this mode, it doesn't know how to filter the good senses from the bad.
 
So when you're living in a state of constant stress, as many of us are, it's really easy to lose all of those good sensations you actually enjoy. When you tap into the senses you're grounding into your body, which helps you feel calmer. So find ways to delight your senses. Maybe cook a new food so you're tasting new things and smelling new things. Maybe take a nice warm bubble bath with oils that smell delicious. Or wear a nice fuzzy sweater that feels good against your skin.
 
Another way we can help our body focus on our sense of touch is with what I call love pats. This is an exercise I have my coaching clients do when they feel numb and out of touch with their bodies. As humans, we crave physical contact. Touch is very important to our nervous system and can help regulate us when we're feeling imbalanced. Think of the calming effect a hug from a loved one can bring.
 
With cupped hands and fingers together, gently and lovingly pat your body. Start out at your feet, and move up your legs to your hips. Then come out to your hands, and work up your arms to your shoulders. Then start at the top of your head and pat down your body. You can also try stroking your skin in a soothing way, or whatever feels nourishing in the moment. I recommend finishing by wrapping your arms around yourself in a hug.
 
Now I know this may sound like a strange activity, and it's not something I recommend doing in public... haha! But you may find yourself surprised at the comfort it brings. Especially in this last year where we've had much less physical contact than we're used to, loving touch can be very healing. So spend time sending love to your body. Find ways to delight your senses. These will help you feel calmer and more pampered. Let me know how it goes, and what these activities unlocked for you. I hope you have a great week.

​Spring is here! And with it comes a multitude of opportunities to be mindful. 

The smell of fresh grass 🌾
The pastels of blooming flowers 💐
The buzz of bees in the air 🐝
The warmth of sun on your skin 🌞

Spend a few moments today truly being present and enjoying the sensations of spring. See if there’s anything new you can notice. 

What about spring represents new life to you? Drop your answer below! 👇🏻

​Yesterday was National Pet Day. Studies show petting an animal lowers both your blood pressure and theirs! For today’s activity, spend some quality time with your pet. Be present in the moment, and notice all the little details - the colors of their fur, the texture of their paws, the way they sigh when they relax. If you have a pet that can/will snuggle with you, see if you can match your breath to theirs.

World Health Day is this Wednesday. We’d love to hear your favorite tip for supporting your health. Drop it below! 👇🏻